It was just announced that Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip would be moved up to December 18, which means it’ll be opening against the behemoth that will be Episode VII. Say what you want about a dopey talking animal movie going head-to-head with a phenomenon like Star Wars but, regrettably, I now know when the new Chipmunks movie will invade theaters (and lower the IQ of all who see it). Well played, Fox.
Back when The Avengers came out in 2012, many theaters showed the movie on several screens beginning on Thursday night. But as the night passed and ticket demand rose in the wee hours of Friday, all screens in many huge multiplexes were eventually showing The Avengers on every single screen to accommodate moviegoers. I expect the exact same thing to happen the day The Force Awakens opens.
Admittedly, I’m not a huge Star Wars fan. However, I do have a fantasy of Alvin showing up to take his place on cinema screens in that final weekend before Christmas, only to be turned away because no theaters will be showing his movie on its release day. His face is stunned, and a single tear falls from his eye and slowly slides down his furry cheek.
As this happens, Han Solo quietly walks up behind him, kneels down and whispers in his ear: “There’s no room at the inn, fuzzball.”
What a dream.